“Am I a good parent?”
It's a heavy question. And the way our culture is built, you can never quite answer it. There's always another milestone your kid hasn't hit, another method you haven't tried, another parent five steps ahead. So you measure and compare, all the while carrying a low hum of worry that you're getting it wrong.
Here's a better place to start: Instead of "Am I good enough?", ask "What actually makes a parent good?"
The Pressure to Get It Right Never Lets Up
Modern parenting can feel like a performance review that never ends. From the day your child is born, there's a metric for everything: sleep schedules, feeding methods, milestones, screen time, the right school, the right activities. Underneath all of it runs a false promise: if you just find the right system and run it perfectly, you can engineer a good kid. But if things go sideways and your kid falls behind, that's on you.
The urge to measure and compare feels normal because it's everywhere. But God invites you to step out of that current: "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think" (Romans 12:2). The world hands you one scorecard for good parenting. God hands you a different one—and the gap between them starts with what you think you're even supposed to be doing.
You’re Measuring the Wrong Thing
The world's scorecard measures output: achievements, benchmarks, how impressive your child looks on paper. But the thing your child needs most from you can't be optimized or graded. It's you.
Look at how Jesus led the people closest to him. He didn't hand the disciples a development plan or drill them toward peak performance. He walked with them, talked with them, and showed up day after day. And before he ascended back to heaven, his final promise was this: "I am with you always" (Matthew 28:20). Presence was the point.
That should take a huge weight off your shoulders. God isn't asking you to raise a perfect child. He asks you to be faithful with your child. Instead of crossing off a checklist, he wants you to keep showing up and loving your child well.
The Experts Will Never All Agree
Part of what makes the pressure of parenting so disorienting is that the advice never settles. Every generation has its own experts with its own methods, and half of them contradict the other half. Sleep-train or don't. Screens will rot their brains or build their skills. The moment you commit to one approach, someone who seems credible enough tells you it's the wrong one. More information doesn't quiet the noise—it adds to it.
What you actually need in that fog is wisdom: the ability to tell what's right for your kid, in your home, in this season. An expert can’t give you that, but God can: "If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking" (James 1:5).
Wisdom also comes through people—specifically the ones who know you and your child, not a stranger with a big following. "Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success" (Proverbs 15:22). When the opinions pile up, go back to the people in your corner: your spouse, a trusted friend or two, parents a few steps ahead of you, and trained professionals when your child needs them. Counsel from people who know your child personally will serve you better than the loudest voice online.
There Will Always Be Gaps—and Grace Covers Them
Even with all the wisdom and all the right people around you, you will still get things wrong. Every parent does. You'll lose your patience, miss a cue, make a choice you'd give anything to take back. No amount of effort closes every gap.
But that truth is meant to free you, not to discourage you. Your child's whole future doesn't rest on your ability to be flawless. Remember what God says: "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9). Your gaps are exactly where God's grace shows up.
So if you've been carrying the weight of getting it all right, you have permission to set it down. Jesus makes the offer himself: "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). The pressure to be a perfect parent is a burden he never asked you to carry. What if you let him carry it for you?
You Weren't Meant to Figure This Out Alone
You were never meant to sort parenting out by yourself. Part of why the Church exists is to walk with other parents through exactly these stretches of uncertainty. It’s a way of living out God’s command to "share each other's burdens" (Galatians 6:2).
That's a big part of why Groups exist—a place where you can be honest about the hard parts of parenting and find people who are in it right alongside you. You don't have to perform there. You can simply show up, be real, and know that you’ll have people in your corner to support you.
So, Are You a Good Parent?
Come back to the question you started with. A good parent is the one who shows up, loves well, seeks wisdom, leans on the people who know them, and trusts God with everything they can't control—which turns out to be most of it.
If that's even the direction you're trying to head, you're doing better than the anxious voice in your head gives you credit for. You don't have to be everything to your child. You only need to be present, be faithful, and be willing to ask for help. You can trust God with the rest.
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LCBC stands for Lives Changed By Christ. We are one church in multiple locations across Pennsylvania. Find the location closest to you or join us for Church Online. We can’t wait to connect with you!